fumbling

I get it. You want to first know if I’m available on your desired date before you go thru the process of sending your screening.

However, if I don’t know who I’m speaking with, I cannot really tell you whether or not I’m available to see you. This is both because this is a safety concern (I’m not going to disclose my availability to an anonymous emailer). And it’s also because I’m deliberate and thoughtful about who I choose to meet with. When you reach out to a companion, you are always engaging with the possibility that you’ve shared your screening and still won’t get an appointment with that companion.

In other words, it doesn’t really matter whether or not I have general unscheduled availability during the time you’re requesting, because if you ultimately send your inquiry and I determine based on the info that we won’t be able to meet, you’ve not saved yourself the risk of possible rejection. You’ve just wasted your own time.

I handle your screening information very delicately as discretion is very important to me. If sending your screening without having certainty of whether or not that will guarantee you an appointment is too much a risk, that is completely fine but in my opinion you might not be ready to engage with this style of connection if that is the case.

I have compassion for many many versions of this. Maybe this was a huge + very vulnerable step for you to reach out about a session. You might have spent weeks, months, years thinking about doing this and when you finally took the leap, you got flooded with anxiety. I really really understand this, and I truly would never want you to go through with something you’re not ready for.

Maybe you are emotionally/mentally ready to reach out, but your work schedule just got fucked up, your travel plans suddenly changed, etc.

If you find yourself in these boats - ie you’ve gone thru screening and have to hit pause on the logistical planning for now - it is respectful to send a small gift or tip to the companion you’ve reached out to in gratitude for her time and energy processing your screening, fitting you into her calendar, and following up with you.

This truly doesn’t have to be huge - even the smallest thing on her wishlist or asking if there’s another way (crypto etc.) you can send a small tip, or a gift card for her next coffee is respectful.

Scenario A: Incomplete screening/honest mistake

Let’s say you filled out my form but missed a step. I’m likely going to not hold this against you, as long as once I point out the error, you immediately correct it.

For ex, if you email me with your real phone number and LinkedIn, but you forget that you also need to send a screenshot showing you’re logged into your LinkedIn and a selfie to verify that I’m actually communicating with the LinkedIn person (and you’re not impersonating someone which…would be creepy and unhinged) - I may reply to you and point out the additional info needed. If you are warm, respectful, professional and prompt with correcting this, we’ve resolved the issue.

Scenario B: Scammer/Incel behavior

If you send me fake screening constructed/manipulated with AI/fake ID, send a fake/burner phone number etc, I will find out and you have just engaged in coercion. That will be the end of the road for us, you will probably get cussed out or simply blocked, and you have just severely injured your reputation within this world 😶‍🌫️

If your approach to connection is disconnection -for ex imposing a script on me in person without my collaboration or consideration - tbh I’m not interested in connecting.

I love Pokemon, but if your approach to connecting with companions is a “gotta catch em all” approach - ie you’re disconnected and imposing one script of intimacy on every person you’re seeing rather than listening, being present, and connecting with the real human being in front of you, please don’t reach out.

If your inquiry contains explicit writing, it will be ignored and deleted. Take the time to read through my website, and after going thru it you feel like “okay yes, I would love to meet her!” - that is the time to reach out, not 2 minutes after seeing 1 photo of me ;)

Let’s say you’ve reached out with all your screening, I’ve processed your screening and replied with my availability. We are on the path towards spending time together. Yayyy it’s so exciting. But then I ask you a basic logistics question: “Would you prefer to meet at 1pm, or 3pm?” or I sent deposit instructions, and then I don’t hear from you again…Until…you reach back out months later, with no acknowledgment that you disappeared before, only to once again vaguely request an appointment or ask “what’s your availability”.

I completely understand when things come up and plans change. The way to avoid this becoming a fumble is to 1) Acknowledge what previously happened, 2) Acknowledge that this may hinder your opportunity to make an appointment happen now, and 3) Make sure your new inquiry is respectful & complete, and you have your deposit ready to send.

If you continue reaching out with incomplete info, I will assume you are more interested in getting small hits of uncompensated attention from me, and you will get ignored and/or blocked. If this (wasting time) wasn’t‍ ‍your intention, you are always welcome to send an apology accompanied by a wishlist gift or tip. This will definitely be appreciated and may bring us to the path of repair, but no guarantees this will ensure a future appointment.

Why did you think this was a good idea? 🙇‍♀️

Screening photos should be simple and logistical. You’re welcome to do a warm smile, but please do not send me shirtless photos or photos in the aesthetic of a thirst trap. It is the wrong tone for screening.

If you’re concerned with coming across as attractive, the way for me to find you attractive is to send a respectful, warm, complete inquiry. Trust that I’m not evaluating my decisions based on your abs.

They are not.

If we haven’t met before, and your inquiry begins with “hey babe” or “hey hon”…this comes across as strange and entitled/overly familiar. I understand there are various cultural differences with this, but please just address me as Evie in writing unless we have a specific dynamic we’ve discussed in person. Our first email correspondence should be warm but formal and professional. Not casual or careless.

If you can’t make the effort to say “Hi Evie” at the beginning of an email, I don’t have high hopes for the quality of our interaction in person 😆

It is clear to me when you have copy-pasted a message to dozens of people and are waiting to see who replies first. It’s not appealing or attractive to me and I’d encourage you to simply not reach out if this is your approach!

I am interested in meeting with suitors who are deliberately interested in and curious about the unique connection we can create together. If you approach me with a frantic and random energy, that is not going to intrigue me and your message will likely be archived and ignored.

It comes across as veryyyyy strange you guys 😆

It creates a break in intimacy right from the start, which is IMO a strange fumble when inquiring about connection & companionship!

If you are worried about language miscommunication, you’re of course welcome to mention this! I only speak one language fluently, so if you know multiple languages you’re way ahead of me and I will think that’s really cool.

I am not interested in perfection or the soulless tone generated by robots. I’m interested in you! Communicate as your thoughtful unique self 🖤That is going to build genuine connection, which is what we’re doing in the space of companionship <3